Infertility – Page 3

Guest Infertility Blogger: Meet Hillary

My name is Hillary Alread. I have been married to my wonderful husband for the last 6 ½ years. Growing up, my period was never regular. For this reason, I always thought that getting pregnant was going to be difficult. I also always remember always wanted to be a mom. I didn’t really know what I wanted to be when I grew up, but I knew I wanted to be a mom.

About a year into the marriage, my husband and I started talking about starting a family. I stopped taking birth control and we waited. A few months after stopping the pill, I still hadn’t started my period. Not totally out of the ordinary for me, but definitely worth getting it checked. After the doctor ran some tests, she noticed that my hormones were way off and that I needed to go to an Endocrinologist. I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism at 14, so I figured it had to do with that. The first doctor I saw was, to put it nicely, a total jerk. Without running any of his own tests, he told me my ovaries could be dead. THIS WAS NOT OKAY! Why he said that to me, I will never know, but needless to say, I moved on to the next doctor. This one was much kinder, but I don’t think really looked at the whole picture. She fixed the thyroid issue and we moved on.

About 6 months after that, my husband and I moved back to New Orleans. He is a Georgia boy from birth but was more than happy to move to Louisiana. When I went to the gynecologist, she too noticed that my levels were off and that if I ever wanted to get pregnant I would HAVE to go to a fertility doctor. She gave me the name of one and we made the decision to call. When we walked into our fertility doctor’s office we were scared, nervous, worried, and had so many more emotions flying around in our heads. After talking for a bit, our doctor decided that because I was under the age of 30 she wanted to run some genetic tests. Pretty simple on my part, just have some blood taken and wait. However, we all know that the waiting is the worst part! About a week went by before we went back to the doctor. In reality, that wasn’t that long, but it felt like an eternity! With a melancholy look on her face, she told us that I had Mosaic Turner’s and the only way I would be able to have children would be through egg donation. I was crushed. My husband was crushed. At 27 and 25 we found out that we could never have children without help. I have to say here that my husband is a rock star! There is no way I could have gotten through it all without him by my side with his patience, grace, love, and devotion.

I was very anxious about using a donor egg. At first, I wholeheartedly said I didn’t want to do that. I would have to figure something else out. However, after some time and many conversations we decided to go for it. It was so scary! We found a donor and started the process pretty quickly. We had high hopes being that I was young and healthy. My husband was positive the whole time, me, not so much! Throughout our IVF journey, I realized that while all of the shots and medicine hurt, it is so much more of a mental game. (I will get more into that later).

The first round of IVF was a success! We were pregnant! Everything was wonderful and we were so happy. However, when we went to our appointment around 8 weeks, we never heard a heartbeat. That was one of the worst moments of my life. It is crazy how quickly you can go from pure joy to pure sadness. I stopped taking medicine and soon after had a miscarriage. We decided to keep going and try again. Unfortunately, after more shots, more hormones, and more tears, we were not pregnant.

Since we had now had two failed attempts my doctor suggested we do a biopsy to make sure everything looked good. Basically, this would give us a few more answers and tell us exactly how many progesterone shots I would need. In case you don’t know, when you get a biopsy on your uterus done, you have to do all of the medicine, do the biopsy and stopped taking medicine. This is where the mental game comes into play. The biopsy was really difficult for me. I could justify the pain of the shots on the fact that it would allow me to have a beautiful baby. The biopsy did not lead to that….and I did it twice!

After getting the two biopsies completed, we were ready to try again. This is where my mental state changed. For whatever reason, I was much calmer this time. I knew I could handle this and I was not going to let the shots bother me. I was SHOCKED at how together I was at this time. Well, it worked because I now have a happy, healthy 18-month-old baby boy. Every hormone, every shot, every tear was worth it. That is my biggest take away from my experience. I am stronger than I think and you are stronger than you think.

Who offered you support during this process that really stood out to you? What did they do? First, I could in no way have done this without my family. My husband was my rock, which sounds cliché even as a type it, but it’s true. He put up with me when I was at my worst and loved me through it all. My mom, dad, and sister were a huge help as well. My dad isn’t a big talker. He keeps emotions to himself a lot of the time, but I knew he was and always will be there for me. My mom and sister were amazing, listening to me when I needed it, offering advice and love.

The other people I could not have gotten through this without are my work friends. I teach kindergarten and my team is very very close. At the beginning of our journey, I didn’t talk much about what was going on. I didn’t want to get weird looks from people or hear people’s comments on the choices that I was making. I was worried I would get negative comments, honestly. Now I realize that other people’s opinions don’t matter for a second. Anyway, my friends at work were always there for me. They helped me when I had to go to appointments, when I was out of bed rest, or when I needed a shoulder to cry on. I don’t think they will ever truly know how helpful there were, and still are, to me.

Are you going to share your infertility journey with your children? While I have not completely figured out how or when I am going to tell my son, and hopefully future children, about my fertility journey, but I do plan on it. I think it is important to be open and honest throughout this whole process. I would never want him to find out from someone else before I had the opportunity to tell him. I would never want him to feel bad about himself or think that there is anything negative about him. Because of this, I believe it is vital to tell him about our family journey.

What is/was the hardest part of this journey for you? There have been so many difficult moments during this. I think the most difficult part is not being able to do the one thing that all women are put on this earth to do, have children. I felt helpless. I grew up wanting nothing more than to be a mother, and I couldn’t even do that in what I deemed to be the right way. It took me a long time to get over this. In fact, sometimes those old emotions and thoughts come creeping back and I feel negative about myself. During these times I have to remind myself how unbelievably lucky l am to have been able to have to help that I did.

What brings you hope during this journey? What brings me hope is that I feel like this topic is being more widely discussed. It is so important for women and men dealing with infertility to not feel ashamed or embarrassed by what they are going through. Often times, infertility is treated as something that shouldn’t be discussed. If it is, it should only be in the dark so to speak. I am hopeful that the tides are now turning and we will now be able to feel confident speaking about our issues. It also brings me hope that science has come so far that doctors are able to do so many miraculous things.

What is the most valuable piece of advice you’d like to share with our readers? Like I said, in the beginning, I didn’t want to tell anyone. I was embarrassed. I now realize that that is completely ridiculous. For anyone out there not wanted to tell people, my advice is to do it. You don’t have to tell everyone, but find a few people that you trust and tell me. It will help you tremendously. When you are feeling low and need to vent, someone will be there. When the shots become unbearable, someone will be there. This will make your journey through fertility much easier.

You can read more infertility stories or connect with others here. You can connect with me (Brianna) at AdventuresofaTwinMom@gmail.com or on Instagram.

Infertility Guest Blogger: Meet Aimee

I am 1 in 8. I was diagnosed with unexplained infertility in early 2015 after trying everything outside of medical intervention the year and a half prior. My GYN said things were fine and that I really just needed to time it better.

I, at that point I became my own advocate and saw an (RE) Reproductive Endocrinologist. He suggested months of medicated timed intercourse (fail), 3 IUI’s (fail), yet was reluctant to pursue IVF because clinically I was textbook, test after test and nothing was abnormal. I was motivated and eager to make my Husband and I parents but in my heart knew we needed to move forward with another plan. So with a lot of prayer, thought and consideration we pursued IVF in December 2015. And on the 15th we transferred 2 day-five blastocysts which resulted in the twins you see here.

I had a high risk pregnancy, diagnosed with IUGR, my babies were born premature and spent the first month of their lives in the NICU. But today they are happy and healthy and I can say that I beat infertility and I am truly blessed and humbled having had gone through this to create our beautiful family.

What things helped you cope with infertility? “The IG community was my saving grace as I battled infertility. I felt isolated and alone as there wasn’t anyone I knew personally that had ever gone through this. I knew I needed an outlet and someone that I could relate to. So I started searching hashtags and found an overwhelming amount of women openly sharing about their struggles to conceive. I immediately felt like I had found my tribe! This was my safe place…somewhere I could go without feeling judged and was able to talk freely about my struggles, frustrations and sadness. My husband didn’t understand and wasn’t always sure how to console me so I found comfort in this community. I am so thankful I started my account and am still present cheering on those still in the wait, comforting those in loss, celebrating the successes, and making lasting friendships everyday.”

What was the hardest part of the journey for you? “In the beginning it was putting on a brave face for those around me. I didn’t want anyone I personally knew to know. I was attending countless baby showers, 1st birthday parties and smiled at the baby bumps that I was desperately yearning for. The hardest part for me was always pretending like things were fine. I wasn’t ready to come clean…admit that I was broken? No thanks. So I quietly acted like things were good and that, “We’re just not ready for kids yet. We’ve got time.” The subject isn’t as taboo as it once was, I think that with the power of social media and celebrities being open has encouraged people to speak out. But truthfully there’s a lot of people that know me personally that still don’t know how hard I had to work to have my twins. And I still am battling how to share that. I want to advocate and not be ashamed but it’s an insecurity believe it or not that I am working on.”

Are you going to share your infertility journey with your children? “Yes, what a testimony of faith, courage and love to bring these babies into the world! I want them to know just how much it took to complete our family. I worked so hard for them! I put my body through so many intense treatments and faced so many fears. I amazed myself at how well I faced those fears and anxieties and for all that we endured I want them to know every detail. Not to mention I think it’s important to share your medical history with your children. I plan on making a book for each of them, I think this will be a sweet tribute for them to see how much they were wanted and loved before they were ever conceived.”

In what ways has infertility changed you and affected your life? “It has made me a more empathetic person. It has shown me how to slow down and evaluate what’s important in life. Infertility will always be a part of me; my past, my present and my future. I still get bump envy. I still feel the sting of a surprise announcement. I still will never know what it’s like to conceive a child the “natural way.” But it has made me a better person. I wholeheartedly feel that. It’s taught me to love fiercely, stop assuming the worst and trust in God’s plan.”

What is the most valuable piece of advice you’d like to share with our readers? “Be your own advocate. Whether you are in the beginning or in the throes of infertility treatment don’t be afraid to ask the questions. You are not just a number at the clinic so don’t let them treat you like one. This is a very sensitive time in your life and you deserve the attention to detail. Your feelings are valid. Don’t let anyone degrade them. If you need to talk to someone there are resources. Find your tribe and love them hard!”

Want to contact Aimee? Instagram: @insta_aimee

You can read more infertility stories or connect with others here. You can connect with me (Brianna) at AdventuresofaTwinMom@gmail.com or on Instagram.

Guest Infertility Blogger: Meet Monica

Meet Monica!

My husband and I have been together since 2009 and married since 2012. When we got married, it was a very emotional time for us because his mothers cancer had returned and she wasn’t doing too well. After our wedding, we knew we wanted to start a family but because we were flying back and forth to see his mom we weren’t being very intentional about it. It wasn’t until she passed away almost two years later that we became more intentional about conceiving. We started tracking my ovulation time, taking prenatal pills and trying every remedy recommended by family and friends but I still wasn’t getting pregnant. I remember asking my OBGYN if everything was ok and although she said it was she recommended I go see an infertility specialist, which I did. I went through several testings which all came back great but I still wasn’t getting pregnant. Then, the doctor suggested I have my husband get checked as well. I came home to and told my husband right away but it took him a few months to actually make the appointment and go. After he did his semen analysis, we received a call while we were on our way to the airport and we were asked to come in to review the results. We could tell that they didn’t have good news to share and unfortunately, we would have to wait a week to find out because we were heading to my home country, Panama, for a week. When we got back, we met with the doctor and he told us that my husbands sperm count was low and because of this we would not be able to conceive naturally. He said a lot more after that but honestly I couldn’t get past the news he just shared. It kept replaying over and over again in my head.

After my initial shock of finding out that my husband and I would have to go through IVF to conceive, I started to do more research and see what the next steps for us would be. Once we learned the cost of IVF and it not being covered by insurance, we kind of lost hope. We had no idea how we were going to make this work. For me, it was hard because I had to go at my husbands paste and ensure that he knew that we were going through this together regardless of him being diagnosed with the infertility factor. At first, he was ashamed and it wasn’t anything that he was ready to share with family or friends so it was something heartbreaking that we were coping with alone.

Finally, after a year and a half we decided that we had waited long enough and that we were going to give it 110% in order to bring a baby to our home. We knew that having a baby meant more to us than any obstacle that could stand in our way. We decided to go through counseling, both professionally and with our church, to ensure that we were mentally, spiritually and emotionally ready to endure this journey. This really brought my husband and I even closer together. We knew that financially, this would be a big hit on us so we became more frugal with our finances and also applied for the BabyQuest grant. Although we weren’t the recipients of the grant, we weren’t going to allow that to stop us either. We are determined to find a way.

We decided to share our infertility struggle with all of our family and friends because we knew that we would need their love and support. Most of them did their very best to be there but we quickly learned that we needed to educate others on the kind of support we needed. All of them had the best intentions on being there for us, I just don’t think they knew how or if we felt they could related to what we were going through. That is when we decided to go public on social media, connect with other individuals in the TTC community and share our infertility journey to educate those close to us. The amount of love and support received from social media, has really meant the world to us.

We were originally with IVF Center of Miami but didn’t feel we were treated very nicely and decided to look for another Doctor. After a lot of research, we found Dr. Hernandez with Conceptions Florida. Not only were his reviews online amazing, but his office was located on the street we were married on. We definitely took that as a sign and when we went in for our consultation, we felt at home and knew we made the right decision.

We are excited to start our first IVF cycle in February or March! To have so much love for a baby before it exists is something truly special and something only us IVF mommies can share. I can’t wait to tell our baby/ babies all that we went through to bring them home.

You can read more infertility stories or connect with others here. You can connect with me (Brianna) at AdventuresofaTwinMom@gmail.com or on Instagram.

Guest Infertility Blogger: Meet Jennifer

Tell us a little bit about you and your infertility journey… We started TTC in 2008. My diagnoses are PCOS and endo. I also lost one tube and ovary in 2005 due to a cyst. We first did clomid through my GYN. When that didn’t work we moved on to an RE. We started with our RE in 2009. We did so many IUIs that I lost count; I think we did a total of 9. We had breaks in between due to some diagnostic procedures (laparoscopy for endo, HSG) finally in January 2010 we did an IUI with injectables. It was our last cycle, before we knew we would need to move on to IVF or adoption. We maxed out on the Follistim and had 5 follicles at trigger (please note this is not the norm for an IUI and we did this based on my own personal past history and responses) on Valentine’s Day 2010 I took an HPT and so that beautiful line pop up! In October 2010, we welcomed Kathryn Marie to the world.

In January 2015, we decided to head back to the RE to try for number two. I naively thought we would go back recreate the cycle that gave us Katheryn and we would be golden. No such luck. After a year of doing IUIs and different drug protocols, we made that call that this wasn’t going to happen from an IUI. We stopped treatment and saved for IVF. We started out IVF cycle in July 2016. In august we had 24 eggs retrieved, of which 20 were mature. We ended up with 17 embryos! We transferred one perfect embryo, which we name Petey. It didn’t work. We were heartbroken. Never ones to give up we moved forward and in November we did an FET. We transferred one more perfect embryo. That was the magic one, and in July 2017 we welcomed Charlotte Raye.

What led you to the decision of the route you are pursuing or pursued? I don’t know that I ever even stopped to think about. We wanted a baby, it wasn’t happening the traditional way so we just continued to move onto the next step in getting to a baby. If medicine didn’t work we would have went to the next step of adoption.

What things helped you cope with infertility? Music. Always and forever music is my therapy.

Was giving up on adding children to your family ever considered? Yes, especially with adding a second. We had to think about the cost and how that would affect Kathryn. What was she missing out on because we had to save everything for treatments.

Do you think your infertility journey is going to or has shaped the way you parent? I think it does. Parenting is hard, and I have bad days. Even on those bad days I can remember the fight to have these girls. Infertility gives you a different perspective on parenting. It’s never far from my mind how lucky I am to have my children, and I don’t take on second for granted.

Are you going to share your infertility journey with your children? Yes! We already do (as much as you can with a 7-year-old) both girls have joined me in DC on Capitol hill advocating for infertility coverage. We are very open with them.

What is/was the hardest part of this journey for you? The loss of control. I want to have a plan. I want to know what will happen and be prepared for it. With infertility, you have no control. Just when you think we have it all under control – BAM, curveball!

What brings you hope during this journey? The women and men that I have met along this journey. Infertility is the worst club ever, but the members of the club and the most amazing, strong people.

What is the most valuable piece of advice you’d like to share with our readers? Don’t hide from your feelings and reach out if needed. There is an amazing support system out there. Even through anonymous sources (resolve.org has a hotline you can call) join the message boards and the Instagram community. You are not alone and each and every feeling you have is valid and ok. It’s ok to be angry or sad. This all sucks. Sometimes you just need to scream and cry. So do it! Let the tears flow and let the screams come out!

Want to contact Jennifer? Instagram: @jennchaps jennchaps@gmail.com

You can read more infertility stories or connect with others here. You can connect with me (Brianna) at AdventuresofaTwinMom@gmail.com or on Instagram.

Guest Infertility Blogger: Meet Summer

Today’s guest blogger is a good friend of mine! After my first failed IVF cycle, Summer messaged me and offered me her remaining embryos. We decide we wanted to try IVF a few more times but I will forever be grateful for the gift she offered us and will never forget it. How sweet is that? I love her! Meet Summer…

Hi! I’m Summer! Mother to twins and a “big kid” 4 year old. I want to share a little bit about our TTC journey and where it has led us today!

Our first was conceived fairly easily through IUI, but when we started trying for another baby it was anything but easy. Three failed IUIS and we decided IVF was the choice for us. Retrieval was a success and we got twelve beautiful embryos to freeze. After a few cancelled transfers happening for one reason or another, we finally got to transfer day! BFP! Fast forward to 5.5 weeks pregnant and seeing two flickering heartbeats, we knew two things: These babies are such huge blessings BUT these are our last babies I’ll carry. This left us with ten frozen embryos and a choice.

The options presented to us were to just keep them frozen indefinitely, thaw and discard them (NOT an option!), or donate them to a couple who were looking for embryos to grow their family. To me, there was no choice. Embryo adoption is one of the most beautiful and incredible things I’ve had the opportunity to be a part of and I’m thankful for it every day.

There are many ways to find embryos. Agencies, websites, Facebook groups, but for me it was good ol’ social media. Scrolling through Instagram, I saw a post from a girl I’d followed for a while and she was announcing that they were looking to adopt embryos! I messaged her and after a few days of talking it was decided! We donated six of our remaining embryos to them. Such an amazing couple who I’ve now grown to love like extended family. They have a beautiful son now, and I couldn’t be happier with how embryo donation turned out for me. I’m often asked if its hard for me to see him, but its 100% not. He was meant for them! We created these embryos to give them a chance at life, every single one of them. As a mother, and as someone who viewed all of those embryos as my potential children, I put them first and I’m thankful every day for that choice!

I wish that more people knew that embryo adoption exists and what a beautiful gift it can be. Not only for the family receiving, but also for our family giving. Our recipients allowed us to feel totally comfortable that these little embies would be loved in ways we just can’t! If you are at the end of your IVF journey, and still have frosties waiting for life, I encourage you to open yourself up to the possibility of donating them. You can do so anonymously or have an open relationship, whatever is best for everyone! If you are looking for embryos, thank you. You’re giving a family the chance to come full circle, to end a chapter of their life while helping to build yours.

Want to contact Summer? Instagram: @grrlgangaz

You can read more infertility stories or connect with others here. You can connect with me (Brianna) at AdventuresofaTwinMom@gmail.com or on Instagram.

Guest Infertility Blogger: Meet Natalie

Meet today’s guest blogger, Natalie!

I lost my second baby this week. I’ve been pregnant three times, two ended in loss and the other is my almost one year old Rainbow baby named Lyla James.

Our infertility journey has been one of heartache and hope and back to heartache. I’m not quite sure how to explain it, since I find myself back in the trenches. After my first loss I went numb. I was desperate for answers and at the six month mark of not being able to get pregnant again I immediately went to the Fertility Specialist since they will take you then. We got conflicting answers on my husband (who by the way was also undergoing his own tests to diagnose a 10cm tumor in his chest that turned out to be Stage 2 Hodgkin’s Lymphoma), but for me the answer was that I was no longer ovulating. I had chalked it up to my body wasn’t quite back on track after the first loss. (Let me also say, that HSG test hurts worse than LABOR! Well, a medicated labor!)

My OB Gyn prescribed me 50mg of Clomid, and just like that I was pregnant with my rainbow baby. About three months later, my husband was finally properly diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. Almost a year after Lyla was born, we got pregnant naturally again and it was such a wonderful surprise. Since my husband underwent six brutal months of chemotherapy and then a month of radiation we weren’t sure if he would be able to reproduce after that. Turns out, he can! Problem is, I lost that one too. This is where we are at this point. Confused. Broken. And yet filled with so much joy as we celebrate the first birthday of our little miracle.

What things helped you cope with infertility? To be honest, I did not take the diagnosis well. I lost friends over it because it was so brutal to watch them get pregnant when I couldn’t. I know that is so wrong. But it’s true. The one and only thing that got me through it was the word of God. I had to hold onto His promises, even when I didn’t feel like it. Today, all I have listened to was Pastor Joseph Prince’s sermons on what God’s promises are for you. It’s very hard not to be angry with God but I’m learning that He can handle it. And He will also bless you regardless. My husband is also my rock. He has been so supportive in this journey and I think after this most recent loss, it just makes my daughter Lyla that much more of a miracle. She is the reason that I breathe.

Was giving up on adding children to your family ever considered? The first time around, no. This time around, the thought has been plaguing me for days. The intense heartache is none like I’ve ever felt after losing a pregnancy. And I’ve gone through my husband being diagnosed with cancer. But there is something so intense and so out of your control when you lose a baby. The heartache is indescribable. And so yes, right now, it is very easy to say that I never want to go through this again. But I know that I will. Because I have now seen the other side of it. When I look at Lyla I don’t remember all the hurt and pain that led me to her. I just look at her and am filled with more joy and love that overtakes any other heartache. And that is why we will keep trying.

Who offered you support during this process that really stood out to you? What did they do? The Moms In The Making Group and other women who have experienced loss and infertility helped more than anything. It’s very hard for someone to understand the hurt and pain unless you’ve been through it. The ones who know and have lived it are the ones that know exactly what to say and what not to say. They were and continue to be the biggest support. Knowing you are not alone. And of course my husband and my family. They have been there every step of the way.

Do you think your infertility journey is going to or has shaped the way you parent? Absolutely. Especially now after a second loss. I look at my daughter as such a miracle gift from God. Even more than she was before! But that can also make me a bit of a helicopter mom. I know it’s something that I need to work on and eventually will get better. I’m learning how to trust God to take care of her and protect her. It helps that we are out of the newborn phase! That was my most anxious state ever. Now that she is able to do more things, it helps easy my anxiety a bit! It’s also given me so much more appreciation for life. For the little things. It’s helped me embrace every moment and every day with my family. Going through infertility and cancer at the same time has given me so much love and joy for my family. We do not take things for granted. This has changed us forever.

What would you like couples or women who don’t struggle with infertility to know about infertility? Be thankful. Be so very thankful that you can get pregnant and stay pregnant on the first try. I cannot tell you enough how lucky you are. I would give just about anything for that to be our case. So if you have that accidental pregnancy, know that you are BLESSED!

What is the most valuable piece of advice you’d like to share with our readers? If you are going through infertility you are not alone. No one family’s journey is the same. You do you. If you need to switch doctors, do it. If you need to get fourth and fifth opinions, do it. If you need to go the natural route or take a break, do it. Know that it is okay to not be okay. This journey is not easy. I’m so sorry. It should be. I wish it was. It absolutely is not fair. But let me tell you as someone who has also experience the beauty of being a mother, it is worth it. You will forget all the hurt and all the pain and everything that led to your child will be so very worth it. With God all things are possible. Don’t give up. I’m preaching to the choir on this one.

How can readers contact you? Email: nataliegorecase@gmail.com Instagram: @nataliegorecasey Website: www.NatalieGoreCasey.com

You can read more infertility stories or connect with others here. You can connect with me (Brianna) at AdventuresofaTwinMom@gmail.com or on Instagram.

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