Infertility – Page 7

September 7, 2017

Guest Infertility Blogger: Meet James aka Scantily Dad

James Doherty is born and Dublin, Ireland and lives in Berlin, Germany. His blog www.scantilydad.com is a platform for parents to share heartfelt, informative of funny stories about infertility, premature babies and parenting. He is a father to twins Max and Mathilda and has an irrational fear of grizzly bears.

Was giving up on adding children to your family ever considered?

Yes, after our second failed IVF our marriage was pushed to its very limits. The pressure, fighting and stress meant that we were not enjoying our lives. We wanted a family more than anything and we couldn’t fulfill our dreams. We were lost and after the second try, I wanted to give up and have my life back. I couldn’t handle the constant disappointment anymore. Luckily, Olivia was persistent and we tried decided to give it one last go. It was the best decision that we ever made. Before the last try we made a lot of changes you can read about it here.

In the end we changed our lives and now have twins.

Do you think your infertility journey is going to or has shaped the way you parent?

Absolutely, 100%. I am a better man after suffering through so much hardship. With twins, your life can be stressful and you rarely get a minute to yourself. Those sleepless nights could break a lot of people. Every time I feel stressed or under pressure, I think back to when I could not have children. As crazy as it seems, life is easier now than not being a parent.

What would you like couples or women who struggle with infertility to know?

It is not your fault. Do not be ashamed about it. If you are going through IVF treatment and it fails, do not give up. Stay patient and change everything in your power to make the treatment work.

In what ways has infertility changed you and affected your life?

In some ways it is the best thing that has ever happened to me. It was tough for several years, but 4 months before our final round of IVF, I decided to change my life for the better. I got fitter, lost weight, started meditating and eradicated nearly all the bad things in my life. All of these changes have stuck with me and I now live a happier and more fulfilled life.

What is the most valuable piece of advice you’d like to share with our readers?

Stay patient, never give up and do everything in your power beat infertility.

Contact James Doherty AKA Scantily Dad: www.scantilydad.com , https://www.instagram.com/scantilydad/, james.doherty@scantilydad.com

You can read more infertility stories or connect with others here. You can connect with me (Brianna) at AdventuresofaTwinMom.com or on Instagram.

August 31, 2017

Guest Infertility Blogger: The Bailey Family

Meet Christina (the one writing), Katie, and Kennedy from Baby Bailey Mama Drama!

Tell us a little bit about you and your infertility journey: Our journey is a long one, full of many details but I’ll try to make this little blurb short. My wife and I did Reciprocal IVF. This is where one woman uses her eggs, has them fertilized by a donor sperm, and then has the other woman carry the fertilized egg. Our first round of IVF was not successful. Our second round was successful but we had a bumpy pregnancy. We miscarried one of our embryos (we had two implanted) and the embryo that did survive was surrounded by a huge blood clot that could have ended the pregnancy (but luckily it didn’t). In the end we had our beautiful daughter Kennedy. We enjoy sharing our life with others and helping out anyone we can. We are continuing our journey currently and are in the process of baby #2. We had our first BETA test which showed we were pregnant! We are excited but cautious as we continue with this process for our second child.

Why our Instagram account was created: We started our Instagram account to help TTC couples and LGBT couples. When we were struggling to make our family, we sought out Instagram accounts and blogs of families who were undergoing fertility treatments to help make their family. Reading blogs and following many families on Instagram gave us hope for our family and got us through our toughest times. We wanted to do the same for others and provide hope to families.

The purpose of our Instagram is to connect families, and TTC couples, and anyone who supports these people. We also like to share any products that benefit our child and enhance our lives. We continue to stick to this purpose by creating quality photos and fostering positive discussion.

What led you to the decision of the route you are pursuing or pursued? Katie and I had been thinking about a family since we got married in 2012. I have always wanted kids and Katie didn’t want kids until she met me. We always knew we wanted to do Reciprocal IVF. Whenever we talked about having children Katie had always said how much she wanted to carry my egg so we could both be a part of the process.

What things helped you cope with infertility? When we were struggling to make our family, we sought out Instagram accounts and blogs of families who were undergoing fertility treatments to help make their family. Reading blogs and following many families on Instagram gave us hope for our family and got us through our toughest times. We wanted to do the same for others and provide hope to families. We still feels so much support as we continue our journey for our second child. I know that whatever happens, I have a community around me who understands what I am going through.

How did you and your spouse encourage each other while on this journey? Katie and I encouraged each other throughout this journey. We didn’t give up. We didn’t argue about how we were going to have children. We discussed the various options and were supportive of each other’s options.

Was giving up on adding children to your family ever considered? Never. We knew we wanted children we just needed to find the right path. It was a lot of discussion about what we could handle emotionally and financially.

Infertility can often be very expensive, what have you done to help alleviate the costs? I am a big saver. When I met Katie, I realized she was the complete opposite. As our relationship grew, she too saved. Saving has allowed us to create our family. My mom was also willing to lend a helping hand if we needed it.

Who offered you support during this process that really stood out to you? What did they do? Our nurse was AMAZING. She stood out to us and fought for us to make our family the way we wanted to. We actually plan on giving our next daughter (hopefully we eventually have another daughter) her middle name.

Did you ever deal with unsupportive people during your journey? How did you handle this? We did. We leaned on each other and reassured each other that what they were saying was painful and they were out of line. This is the way we want to create our family and we need to put our family first. We need to not worry about what other people think because we get to make the decisions, not others.

Do you think your infertility journey is going to or has shaped the way you parent? Definitely! We worry about our daughter extra. I know everyone will say they worry about their kids, but we have been worrying since we started creating her. I don’t think people who haven’t undergone fertility treatment worry about their eggs being withdrawn, then worry about the creation of their children in a lab, then worry about their little embryo sticking once transfer comes, etc. The stress from this whole process to get pregnant is crazy. The financial part of it also plays a role. You get so frustrated at that time thinking about how much money is being spent to create a child. I think you also view other people differently. I can’t tell you how much I dislike the statement “oh we weren’t trying, it just happened,” or “I didn’t expect to get pregnant that fast.” When you undergo fertility treatment, it drives you crazy when you see children created around you so easily. I try not to think about how many steps we had to go through to get our daughter because it would make me crazy. In the end, every step is worth it! I am so happy with our family! I would be happy to see fertility treatment for LGBT couples to be covered by insurance in the future. There really isn’t a cheap way to have kids if you are gay and be loyal to your relationship. I don’t think that is fair.

Are you going to share your infertility journey with your children? We definitely are. I even saved all the information from the donor to share with our daughter one day. We are not ashamed to share how our family was made.

What is the most valuable piece of advice you’d like to share with our readers? We spent thousands of dollars making Kennedy. This is nothing compared to what some couples have spent to have a baby. Once we had Kennedy, the money spent just became a number and nothing else. There are so many options now to becoming a parent. Whatever road you chose to go down, be positive. Be there for one another. Having a baby has created a tighter bond between the two of us. We are now a strong team and teamwork has become a key part to our marriage. Teamwork was something that still needed improvement in our marriage before Kennedy was born. However, the process to create Kennedy tightened any weak areas in our marriage.

To every person out there who had done IVF, it truly changes who you are. The journey we go on is like no other. I am so happy we decided to try again because if we didn’t, Kennedy wouldn’t be here. I do still think about the “what ifs” with embryo adoption. We almost went through with it and I wonder if we would have two babies by now. I wonder what they would look like and how they would be quite a few months older than Kennedy is now. I think about our little boy or girl we lost who was supposed to be here with Kennedy right now. I think about all the tears, worries, and stress in this journey. I think about all the joy we will have now that she is here. I don’t know how it feels to be a mother who has a baby the male/female way without any labs or doctors helping you make your baby, but I do know the feeling you have seeing a baby you once saw a picture of in a dish. That feeling is the most amazing feeling I will ever have. I am so grateful for the help of science and for being alive in a time that has a process such as this. Reciprocal IVF made our dreams a reality.

Want to contact Christina or Katie? Instagram: babybaileymamadrama, blog: babybaileymamadrama.wordpress.com, or email at babybaileymamadrama@gmail.com.

You can read more infertility stories or connect with others here. You can connect with me (Brianna) at AdventuresofaTwinMom@gmail.com or on Instagram.

August 17, 2017

Guest Infertility Blogger: Meet Elena

Meet Elena from Baby Ridley Bump!

Tell us a little bit about you and your infertility journey…

I was born and raised in a small town in north central Illinois. My husband Joe and I met in high school. My best friend of 25 years happens to be married to Joe’s younger brother Jon so I knew Joe and his family for many years, but it wasn’t until my senior year of college in 2008 that we reconnected and started dating. We got married on September 24, 2011.

Our journey to become parents started as soon as we were married. We started trying for babies right away, in fact, I thought I was possibly pregnant on our honeymoon (joke was on me!) because my period was late for the first time ever. Little did I know it would take us almost five more years to get pregnant. We tried naturally for 2 years and in that time period we had some initial testing done, blood work, semen analysis, and I had an HSG. Everything came back clear so in September of 2013 we were referred to our first RE.

We jumped right into an IUI after they performed a laparoscopy on me which revealed some minor endometriosis, but nothing too concerning. Our first IUI failed and our second resulted in a chemical pregnancy. We were devastated but we were still so enthusiastic about treatment and thought maybe IVF would be what we needed instead. In July of 2014 we went through our first fresh cycle of IVF which ended up as a failed cycle along with 2 subsequent failed frozen IVF cycles.

We were exhausted from doing back to back cycles with such heartbreaking results each time. We decided to take a break and regroup and got a second opinion in January of 2015. It wasn’t until July of 2015 that we did our second fresh cycle of IVF with our new clinic. Although the protocol was drastically different and we felt a renewed sense of hope, we ended up with only 2 poorly graded day-3 embryos that we transferred and none left to freeze. The cycle ended in failure and we were back at square 1. We still had 4 frozen embryos at our first clinic so in October of 2015 we decided to try again with them and unfortunately we ended up with another failed cycle and more questions than answers at that point.

We decided to seek out another opinion and switched to our third doctor. We did our final fresh IVF cycle in December of 2015 and although the retrieval and fertilization was perfect, none of our embryos progressed into blastocysts and we transferred 2 embryos on day 5 in hopes that they were just slow to progress. Again we were left with no embryos to freeze as the other 5 had arrested. On December 26, 2015 I found out that cycle had also failed.

In the midst of our last cycle I had received a Facebook message from a total stranger. She said she had been following my Facebook, Instagram, and blog for some time and felt a calling to reach out to us with an offer to be a surrogate for us. I was in total shock and couldn’t believe this gracious gift that was being offered to us by a total stranger. Unfortunately, I was not ready for that step yet and was leaning towards pursuing egg donation. I told her this was the path that I envisioned next for us and without hesitation, she offered her eggs to us.

In March of 2016 we flew from Illinois to Georgia to meet our donor Amy, and her family. We felt an instant connection with them and they felt the same towards us. We also met with our new clinic and doctor at that time, and by May we had begun meds for our donor egg cycle. On June 16^th, 2016 we transferred 1 perfect embryo & found out we had 5 more frozen. 11 days later on June 27^th, 2016 we got our very positive beta of 967 and found out on July 11^th that we were expecting one perfect little baby with a strong heartbeat.

My pregnancy went perfectly and on February 22, 2017 we welcomed our DEIVF miracle baby Georgia June into the world.

What led you to the decision of the route you are pursuing or pursued? We chose donor egg IVF (DEIVF) because we were fairly certain that egg quality was the culprit too all of our failed cycles and poor embryo progression. We did a total of 6 cycles with my own eggs, 3 fresh, and 3 frozen, and transferred a total of 9 embryos before moving forward with donor eggs. None of those embryos ever resulted into a pregnancy so I knew it was time to close the door on my eggs and move forward with something different. I knew that I wanted to try to carry a pregnancy so donor eggs was just the next logical step for us. It was the best decision out of the many that we made on our journey.

Who offered you support during this process that really stood out to you? What did they do? We have been overwhelmed with support throughout our journey not only by our family and friends but by total strangers thanks in (most) part because of being very open and transparent about our journey. Not only did I blog about our entire journey to get pregnant, even before I knew we were infertile, but I shared very openly on Instagram and through any opportunity I could whether it be an interview on another blog or a video that I was asked to make for Advocacy Day. Going public with our journey created a massive support group of people who have been cheering us on since the beginning.

Are you going to share your infertility journey with your children? Absolutely! Not so much yet, but it will as Georgia gets older and we share her roots with her. She already has quite the tale to tell about how she was conceived, but we will also be very open with her about her biological mother, sisters, and brother. We never want her to feel shame about where she comes from and we hope that as parents we can ease her into the truth behind her DNA by initiating the conversation at an early ago so it becomes like second nature to her.

Some patients change doctors several times. Did you? What made you choose your doctor and or clinic? Yes, we went to a total of 4 different clinics and sought a total of 5 opinions. We received an opinion from CCRM in Colorado but ultimately decided against it. We saw 3 doctors in Illinois and 1 in Georgia for our donor egg cycle. We chose our doctors based on referrals from others and their stats. What I learned is that every clinic does things SO different and I think having different outlooks from different doctors in this profession can certainly help lead one to a path of success. Treatment is 100% trial and error. Sometimes it only takes 1 cycle, sometimes it takes 10, other times you may never get to have a cycle.

Did you choose an open egg donation? Why? We used a known donor thanks to the amazing woman who offered her eggs to us and we are so thankful for the relationship that we have with her and her family today. Her and I talk regularly and we have become good friends. I love that our children, being that they are biological siblings, will have the opportunity to know each other one day.

What is the most valuable piece of advice you’d like to share with our readers? Don’t ever give up on becoming a parent if that is what you truly desire. It may never work with your own biology, but that does not mean that you cannot pursue other avenues to become parents. The biggest lesson I learned from using a donor to conceive my baby is that DNA is so unbelievably irrelevant and means absolutely nothing to me. Georgia is my baby and I wouldn’t trade her for a biological child of my own any day.

Want to contact Elena? Instagram @lenaridley, www.babyridleybump.blogspot.com & eridley92411@gmail.com

Want to be a guest blogger? Email me at adventuresofatwinmom@gmail.com or message on Instagram @ivftwinmomadventures

August 3, 2017

Guest Infertility Blogger: Meet Erin

Infertility has been a huge part of my life for years and even though I have my miracle babies, it will always be a part of me. I realized after going through infertility that many people aren’t aware of how common this is. Twice a month, I’m going to have a guest blogger who went through infertility or is currently going through it. Meet, our first Guest Blogger: Erin from Our Journey to Three

Tell us a little bit about you and your infertility journey:

Matt & I have been trying to start a family since we got married in October 2012. After being diagnosed with PCOS and only having one fallopian tube, we began fertility treatments in November 2014. We have gone through nine IVF transfers – transferring a total of fifteen embryos. Six of these transfers resulted in pregnancy, but sadly, all six ended in miscarriage. Most of my losses were around 6 to 6 ½ weeks, but the furthest we made it was about 8 weeks. After seeing countless doctors and trying different protocols, we have made the decision to move forward in our journey by using a gestational carrier, with the hopes of building our family.

What led you to the decision of the route you are pursuing or pursued?

After struggling with infertility for five years, my body has just been put through hell. The injections, doctors’ visits, ultrasounds, egg retrievals, and D&Cs have all put a toll on my body. Emotionally, I can’t handle much more either. Also, with repeated pregnancy loss I’ve just come to the realization that my body isn’t meant to carry a child, unfortunately. We have a close friend that will carry for us – hopefully in the fall/winter.

Who offered you support during this process that really stood out to you? What did they do?

There’s no way that I could pick just one person, because the support we have received has been unreal. My husband has been my number 1 support system, along with my mom. Also, a lot of family, friends, and TTC sisters have given us support during this journey. Some of the things that they have shown support to us is sending flowers/cards/small gifts during difficult times; asking us how we are doing; texting us or messaging us; and praying for us – that’s helped up stay afloat quite a bit. Without our support system, I fully believe I would have given up by now.

Did you ever deal with unsupportive people during your journey? How did you handle this?

Yes, 100% – and we still do. Unfortunately, it is even family members. It has been hard to cope with, but I’ve come to the realization that it is what it is. I just know that those aren’t my people. The things I’ve heard from people during this journey just erks me to no end. But I can’t expect them to understand it, they’ve never lived it. The supportive ones FAR outweigh the unsupportive ones so I try to just brush it off.

Are you going to share your infertility journey with your children?

Absolutely. Infertility has been such a HUGE part of my life that has changed me in good ways, that I want them to know how hard we fought for them. And that they were worth every single injection, tear, and pain that we had to go through to get them here.

What would you like couples or women who don’t struggle with infertility to know about infertility?

I would want them to know how extremely fortunate and blessed they are to not have to struggle with infertility. I cannot even imagine having intercourse and getting pregnant – it honestly blows my mind that it works so easy for the majority of people. If you know someone struggling with infertility, I urge you to acknowledge it. I also want them to know that I in no way “blame” them for being fertile – it isn’t their fault! I just hope they know how lucky they are.

What is/was the hardest part of this journey for you?

I would have to say, going through three failed Clomid cycles, three failed IUIs, nine IVF transfers, six miscarriages and still no baby. I hate to say it, but it’s almost as if we did it all for nothing. If someone would have told me years ago, we needed a surrogate, it’s the route we would have taken immediately.

What is the most valuable piece of advice you’d like to share with our readers?

Infertility is no walk in the park. If you’re struggling with infertility, just know it isn’t going to be easy, but I promise you, you have the strength within you to keep pushing forward until you get your end result. Couples that struggle with infertility are such warriors – they’re giving themselves countless injections, are put on emotional rollercoasters, and all keep living their everyday life.

Want to get in touch with Erin? IG – journeytothree_ivf; Blog: www.ourjourneytothree.com Email: erin.boelhower@gmail.com; Facebook page: http://m.facebook.com/ourjourneytothree/

You can read more infertility stories or connect with othershere. You can connect with me (Brianna) at AdventuresofaTwinMom.com or on Instagram.

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