The Adventures of a Twin Mom

Motherhood and Travel Blog

Infertility Stories or Resources

Below you can find what I’ve written on infertility and all the guest infertility bloggers that I have been honored to host.  This is organized by fertility topics:

Articles by me:

One or Two Embryos by Me

What Infertility Taught me

IVF

Secondary Infertility

Miscarriage

PCOS

Infant Loss, Stillborn, or Late Term Loss

Endometriosis

Surrogacy

Adoption

IUI

Embryo Adoption

Childfree After Infertility

Male Factor

Reciprocal IVF

Low AMH

Egg Donation

In the Wait

Infertility from a Man’s Perspective

Fertility Coach

Unexplained Infertility

Spouses Cancer Journey During Infertility

Mosaic’s Turner

Hypothyroidism

Factor 5 Ledden Mutation

 

Guest Infertility Blogger: Meet Elizabeth

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Meet today’s guest blogger, Elizabeth!

My husband and I were married in 2013.  I wanted children right away, however we knew we needed to get settled first. We moved, he started a new job, and I decided to start a new career and went back to school to become a nurse. I always had this nagging feeling that it would be difficult for me to get pregnant. I could not explain it, and I am pretty sure people thought I was crazy. However, I could not shake this feeling deep within my gut that something would be wrong with my eggs. After some convincing by me I went off birth control in 2014. At first we did the whole not trying and not preventing. Soon I was tracking days, peeing on ovulation sticks, and writing down every symptom I felt that could be pregnancy.

A year went by, and nothing…. Each month felt like a shot in the stomach as I felt that my deep down feeling all these years was actually coming true. So we made an appointment with a new OB/GYN to see what was up. He ran some initial tests and found I did not ovulate that month. So on the Femara train I went. Now so hopeful that yes, this is the answer. I don’t always ovulate.. I will take the medication and BAM! It will happen. After three months on the medication I only successfully ovulated once. Back to square one….

After the failed Femara months I was sent to an RE. Right away he said PCOS, but wanted to run a whole gamete of tests. That is when I was hit with a huge shocker… my AMH came back at 0.19. 0.19!!!! That is a number that is seen in a woman in her 50’s. After some quick googling I realized I was probably suffering from Diminished Ovarian Reserve and that essentially I did not have as many eggs as I should for my age. It is important to point out at this time I was in my final practicum for nursing school… on a labor and delivery floor. The day I received those tests result I had to put on my big girl panties and work a 12-hour shift helping deliver babies. Oh the irony.  So we quickly made an appointment with our RE, who is amazing by the way. He said he would not give up on us and was willing to prove the test results wrong. So onto IUI we went. Three IUI’s with injections, follicles each time, no pregnancy.

The summer of 2016 we began IVF. We were so hopeful. Each time we moved to a new treatment our thought was, “this is it. This treatment will work.” I felt so happy to be able to even do IVF given my low AMH. Injections, appointments, ultrasounds, and blood draws followed and we made it to our first retrieval. 5 eggs were retrieved with 3 being fertilized. I had a 3-day fresh transfer of 2 embryos and the third did not make it.  The whole two weeks I just couldn’t believe that I was carrying two embryos inside of me. This was the closest I had come to pregnancy. Soon those little embryos gave me my first and only ever two pink lines. I couldn’t believe it. Me, pregnant! However, sadly it resulted in a chemical pregnancy. I could probably write an entire post on that first round. Another round followed, another 3 day transfer, negative Beta, laparoscopy that found mild endometriosis, and a frozen transfer that failed 6 days before my 30th birthday. Needless to say at that point I was done. I was physically, emotionally, and mentally spent.

We made the decision to stop treatments and pursue adoption. Throughout our journey adoption was always mentioned. I knew deep in my heart it was something I wanted to do even if we had biological children. However, I knew first I needed to take my body as far as I felt I could in trying to have biological children. I needed that time to mourn the loss of never being pregnant. I needed to grieve it and come to acceptance of not carrying my children. Once I was there we never looked back. We dove head first into private adoption and just 5 days after paying our retainer fee we were matched!! I’ll never forget that phone call standing outside of a Cracker Barrel in TN. We were going to be parents and it was going to be soon. Two weeks later, a 3-day home study, and traveling to Connecticut, our sweet son Samuel was born. I was able to be in the delivery room with his birth mother and witnessed as he made his entrance earth side. I even got to cut his umbilical cord.  In that moment, it was all worth it. When that sweet 6 pound 1 ounce baby boy was placed on my chest, it all made sense.  This was how I was supposed to become a mother.

Want to contact Elizabeth? Instagram:@ourjourneytobabyl

You can read more infertility stories or connect with others here.  You can connect with me (Brianna) at AdventuresofaTwinMom@gmail.com or on Instagram.

Guest Infertility Blogger: Meet Kate

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Today’s guest blogger is a women’s health and fertility coach! How cool is that? Meet Kate…

Can you explain your job for us?  I’m a women’s health + fertility coach and I work with women at any stage of their fertility journey–whether they’ve just started trying or are doing IVF. I work with clients on making sustainable lifestyle shifts that will improve their overall health + hopefully improve hormone balance and fertility. I focus a lot on food, stress, sleep, and mindset work, because the emotional side of trying to conceive is often ignored, but can be one of the biggest challenges women face. My hope is that after working with me, you feel better in your body, and emotionally more resilient and ready to face whatever challenge comes next–whether that’s another round of IVF or being a new mom.

My background is in women’s health + positive psychology, but I’m also a yoga teacher and have trained in fertility yoga, so I bring that into my coaching as well. Everyone’s journey is different and my goal is to help each woman figure out the right path for her, and to give her the tools and resources to become a mother, whatever that looks like.

What got you into this career path? I’ve been interested in women’s health for a long time–in my early 20’s I started having really terrible menstrual cramps and vomiting that prevented me from going to work or doing anything but lying on the bathroom floor. I knew I shouldn’t have to feel this way, but I didn’t feel like my gynecologist really had any suggestions other than going back on birth control which I didn’t want to do. Through a friend’s recommendation, I tried acupuncture, and found it really helped with cramps, and it balanced out my long cycles as well. I started getting really interested in eastern healing traditions like Chinese medicine and Ayurveda, and decided to study holistic nutrition at the Institute for Integrative Nutrition. I started doing women’s health coaching, but felt like part of the puzzle was missing, so I did a year long program in positive psychology through the Wholebing Institute, and began working with the emotional and mindset side of things as well. I found that addressing mindset first often helps clients become more successful implementing other changes to their lifestyle.

At that time, I had been teaching yoga for a number of years and a friend of mine asked what yoga could do to help her get pregnant, since she had been struggling for a number of years. I thought that was a really great question, so I signed up for a training with Lynn Jensen in Seattle for Yoga for Fertility. I realized not only how much yoga had to offer, but also how much women could benefit from other lifestyle and diet changes when trying to conceive. As I started working with women, I also realized how little emotional support there really is for women struggling with their fertility, and the mindset work became very central to what I do as well. So it’s been kind of a gradual evolution into fertility, but once I started working with my fertility clients, I just knew this was what I was I was supposed to do and who I was supposed to help.

What is the hardest part of your job?  The hardest part of my work is seeing the difficulty and suffering many of my clients have gone through–from miscarriage and loss to monthly disappointment—and to not be able to just wave a magic want and make it all go away. I teach women tools that can have a huge impact on their lives, but they still have to do the work, and there’s no quick fix. If I could magically give women babies I would!

What is the most rewarding part of your job? The most rewarding part of fertility coaching is seeing the transformation my clients undergo during our time working together. I see them grow stronger emotionally and become more resilient and hopeful again. I see their cycles change and hormones balance out; they feel better physically and and have more energy, and you can just see it in their eyes–they start glowing again. I may have empowered these women and given them tools to succeed, but they did all the work to make these change manifest in their lives, and that is so beautiful to witness.

If you could tell a couple struggling with infertility one thing, what would it be?  You will find a way to become parents. If that’s what you truly want in life, you’ll find the right path for you. It may not be easy, it may not be the path you envisioned, but there will be a path for you to follow. Hold on to hope.

Want to contact Kate?

Website + Blog | KatePotvin.com

Join me on Facebook | Facebook.com/KatePotvinHealth

Instagram | @katepotvin 

You can read more infertility stories or connect with others here.  You can connect with me (Brianna) at AdventuresofaTwinMom@gmail.com or on Instagram.

Infertility Guest Blogger: Meet Aimee

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I am 1 in 8. I was diagnosed with unexplained infertility in early 2015 after trying everything outside of medical intervention the year and a half prior. My GYN said things were fine and that I really just needed to time it better.

I, at that point I became my own advocate and saw an (RE) Reproductive Endocrinologist. He suggested months of medicated timed intercourse (fail), 3 IUI’s (fail), yet was reluctant to pursue IVF because clinically I was textbook, test after test and nothing was abnormal. I was motivated and eager to make my Husband and I parents but in my heart knew we needed to move forward with another plan. So with a lot of prayer, thought and consideration we pursued IVF in December 2015. And on the 15th we transferred 2 day-five blastocysts which resulted in the twins you see here.

I had a high risk pregnancy, diagnosed with IUGR, my babies were born premature and spent the first month of their lives in the NICU. But today they are happy and healthy and I can say that I beat infertility and I am truly blessed and humbled having had gone through this to create our beautiful family.

What things helped you cope with infertility?  “The IG community was my saving grace as I battled infertility. I felt isolated and alone as there wasn’t anyone I knew personally that had ever gone through this. I knew I needed an outlet and someone that I could relate to. So I started searching hashtags and found an overwhelming amount of women openly sharing about their struggles to conceive. I immediately felt like I had found my tribe! This was my safe place…somewhere I could go without feeling judged and was able to talk freely about my struggles, frustrations and sadness. My husband didn’t understand and wasn’t always sure how to console me so I found comfort in this community. I am so thankful I started my account and am still present cheering on those still in the wait, comforting those in loss, celebrating the successes, and making lasting friendships everyday.”

What was the hardest part of the journey for you? “In the beginning it was putting on a brave face for those around me. I didn’t want anyone I personally knew to know. I was attending countless baby showers, 1st birthday parties and smiled at the baby bumps that I was desperately yearning for. The hardest part for me was always pretending like things were fine. I wasn’t ready to come clean…admit that I was broken? No thanks. So I quietly acted like things were good and that, “We’re just not ready for kids yet. We’ve got time.” The subject isn’t as taboo as it once was, I think that with the power of social media and celebrities being open has encouraged people to speak out. But truthfully there’s a lot of people that know me personally that still don’t know how hard I had to work to have my twins. And I still am battling how to share that. I want to advocate and not be ashamed but it’s an insecurity believe it or not that I am working on.”

Are you going to share your infertility journey with your children? “Yes, what a testimony of faith, courage and love to bring these babies into the world! I want them to know just how much it took to complete our family. I worked so hard for them! I put my body through so many intense treatments and faced so many fears. I amazed myself at how well I faced those fears and anxieties and for all that we endured I want them to know every detail. Not to mention I think it’s important to share your medical history with your children. I plan on making a book for each of them, I think this will be a sweet tribute for them to see how much they were wanted and loved before they were ever conceived.”

In what ways has infertility changed you and affected your life?  “It has made me a more empathetic person. It has shown me how to slow down and evaluate what’s important in life. Infertility will always be a part of me; my past, my present and my future. I still get bump envy. I still feel the sting of a surprise announcement. I still will never know what it’s like to conceive a child the “natural way.” But it has made me a better person. I wholeheartedly feel that. It’s taught me to love fiercely, stop assuming the worst and trust in God’s plan.”

What is the most valuable piece of advice you’d like to share with our readers?  “Be your own advocate. Whether you are in the beginning or in the throes of infertility treatment don’t be afraid to ask the questions. You are not just a number at the clinic so don’t let them treat you like one. This is a very sensitive time in your life and you deserve the attention to detail. Your feelings are valid. Don’t let anyone degrade them. If you need to talk to someone there are resources. Find your tribe and love them hard!”

Want to contact Aimee? Instagram: @insta_aimee

You can read more infertility stories or connect with others here.  You can connect with me (Brianna) at AdventuresofaTwinMom@gmail.com or on Instagram.

Guest Infertility Blogger: Meet Jennifer

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Tell us a little bit about you and your infertility journey… We started TTC in 2008. My diagnoses are PCOS and endo. I also lost one tube and ovary in 2005 due to a cyst. We first did clomid through my GYN. When that didn’t work we moved on to an RE. We started with our RE in 2009. We did so many IUIs that I lost count; I think we did a total of 9. We had breaks in between due to some diagnostic procedures (laparoscopy for endo, HSG) finally in January 2010 we did an IUI with injectables. It was our last cycle, before we knew we would need to move on to IVF or adoption. We maxed out on the Follistim and had 5 follicles at trigger (please note this is not the norm for an IUI and we did this based on my own personal past history and responses) on Valentine’s Day 2010 I took an HPT and so that beautiful line pop up! In October 2010, we welcomed Kathryn Marie to the world.

In January 2015, we decided to head back to the RE to try for number two. I naively thought we would go back recreate the cycle that gave us Katheryn and we would be golden. No such luck. After a year of doing IUIs and different drug protocols, we made that call that this wasn’t going to happen from an IUI. We stopped treatment and saved for IVF. We started out IVF cycle in July 2016. In august we had 24 eggs retrieved, of which 20 were mature. We ended up with 17 embryos! We transferred one perfect embryo, which we name Petey. It didn’t work. We were heartbroken. Never ones to give up we moved forward and in November we did an FET. We transferred one more perfect embryo. That was the magic one, and in July 2017 we welcomed Charlotte Raye.

 

What led you to the decision of the route you are pursuing or pursued? I don’t know that I ever even stopped to think about. We wanted a baby, it wasn’t happening the traditional way so we just continued to move onto the next step in getting to a baby. If medicine didn’t work we would have went to the next step of adoption.

What things helped you cope with infertility? Music. Always and forever music is my therapy.

Was giving up on adding children to your family ever considered? Yes, especially with adding a second. We had to think about the cost and how that would affect Kathryn. What was she missing out on because we had to save everything for treatments.

Do you think your infertility journey is going to or has shaped the way you parent? I think it does. Parenting is hard, and I have bad days. Even on those bad days I can remember the fight to have these girls. Infertility gives you a different perspective on parenting. It’s never far from my mind how lucky I am to have my children, and I don’t take on second for granted.

Are you going to share your infertility journey with your children? Yes! We already do (as much as you can with a 7-year-old) both girls have joined me in DC on Capitol hill advocating for infertility coverage. We are very open with them.

What is/was the hardest part of this journey for you? The loss of control. I want to have a plan. I want to know what will happen and be prepared for it. With infertility, you have no control. Just when you think we have it all under control – BAM, curveball!

What brings you hope during this journey? The women and men that I have met along this journey. Infertility is the worst club ever, but the members of the club and the most amazing, strong people.

What is the most valuable piece of advice you’d like to share with our readers? Don’t hide from your feelings and reach out if needed. There is an amazing support system out there. Even through anonymous sources (resolve.org has a hotline you can call) join the message boards and the Instagram community. You are not alone and each and every feeling you have is valid and ok. It’s ok to be angry or sad.  This all sucks. Sometimes you just need to scream and cry. So do it! Let the tears flow and let the screams come out!

Want to contact Jennifer?  Instagram: @jennchaps jennchaps@gmail.com

You can read more infertility stories or connect with others here.  You can connect with me (Brianna) at AdventuresofaTwinMom@gmail.com or on Instagram.

Guest Infertility Blogger: Meet Jaclyn

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Meet today’s guest blogger, Jaclyn!

Tell us a little bit about you and your infertility journey.  My husband and I got married in July 2014. We started trying to have a baby the minute we returned from our honeymoon. When I got off birth control I got a withdrawal period but then never one again. We went to a fertility doctor that October and started a round of Clomid. But it didn’t work. I decided to go a more holistic approach to get my period back and also fix my thyroid that apparently was out of whack as well. I stopped drinking and eating from plastic, went gluten free, watched other things I ate, tried not to have every angry and sad thought control my mind every single second of the day, etc. That December, we went to Disney World and had a fun but the whole time I was sad because I kept looking at families. I wanted what these couples had, a family of my own. I thought, “Hey maybe I’ll get pregnant while in Disney since everyone told me when you go on vacation is happens.” But I knew in my heart it wasn’t going to. After waiting a few months, nothing was happening so we decided to go to a new fertility doctor in March. I was tired of crying every day. I felt like I was ruining my marriage because I was so depressed. I wanted to be a mother more than anything. I’ve always wanted to be a mom more than I even wanted to get married. There were even times I didn’t want to continue on with my life because I didn’t want a life without a child of my own. The new doctor promised me he would get me pregnant. Between genetic testing and waiting for insurance to approve us, it seemed like it took forever. Insurance wouldn’t let us do IVF until we tried artificial insemination (IUI). We did that in early June and two weeks later we found out it was negative. I was obviously upset, but I knew it wasn’t going to work. I knew that IVF was going to be the only way. We took the rest of the summer to enjoy ourselves while the doctor’s handled everything insurance wise and I started the medicine in August. In September, we finally did IVF and I found out right before my birthday that I was pregnant. There was a lot of crying here and there during my pregnancy due to the doctor’s finding issues with the baby’s heart. I gave birth on June 12, to a beautiful son who is my entire world. I had no time for meds, nothing. That unexpected natural birth experience allowed me to feel more like a woman again. Our son was in the NICU for the first week of his life due to his heart, but with time things had progressed and the cardiologist cleared him in January. We are hoping for another child to give our son a sibling. We have five frozen embryos and no matter how we have to have a second child, we are determined to have one more child. This was hard for me to write because I have only recently began sharing with others. I was embarrassed for a long time. But I have come to learn that there are so many people out there that are going through this. I want to be able to help them through their journey. I had no one to really talk to during my journey that went through this and that was hard for me. I became friendly with some other women going through IVF on Instagram but that was about it. If I can help other women and let them know everything will be ok, then I know that this was my purpose in life.

What things helped you cope with infertility? I realized there are a lot of couples dealing with this. That is wasn’t taboo anymore. I also turned to God to help me through this. I was angry at him for making me go through this. However, I think he knew how strong I am before I even realized it. I can handle a lot now.

How did you and your spouse encourage each other while on this journey? During the whole process, it’s pretty simple for the husband. They do not have to go put their body through all the medicine or procedures. My husband witnessed everything I had to go through. He was there helping me with the large needles I had to inject in my upper butt. He was there constantly telling me how strong I was and how we would have our baby. He saw the needles I had to inject in my stomach and how I did all of that on my own. He dealt with all my crying and my rollercoaster emotions due to my heartache and all the hormones I was on. He was my rock. Even when he became frustrated or sad, he held it together for me. I fell in love with him even more during all of this because he stayed by my side and helped me through it. He didn’t leave me when I told him too. I am so grateful for my husband.

Do you think your infertility journey is going to or has shaped the way you parent? I think it is shaping the way I am as a parent. I know what I had to go through to get my son, so I’m very protective of him. I would do anything for him.

What would you like couples or women who don’t struggle with infertility to know about infertility? It is hard. Emotionally, physically, and mentally hard. Infertility affects your heart, brain, body, wallet, and those around you. The couples or women that can become pregnant in the blink of an eye sometimes do not realize how lucky and blessed they are. It also hurts when those who are not struggling with infertility make jokes about becoming pregnant so easily. I would give anything to think maybe I was pregnant, pee on a stick, and be surprised with a positive test. No one truly understands what it is like to go through fertility treatments, until they experience it for themselves. Just please always remember to be sensitive to those who have to endure the heartache.

What is/was the hardest part of this journey for you? The hardest part was seeing couples announce that they were pregnant when you longed for a baby of your own. I couldn’t handle seeing all of the announcements. I always wondered, “Why? Why not me? When will it be my turn?” With social media, I saw the announcements all the time. I had to even give myself a break from it in order to avoid seeing the announcements. I am always happy for pregnant couples and wish them nothing but a healthy journey and baby. But it was still hard to see. I also had hard time learning about how some women didn’t even mean to get pregnant. Or how there are so many women out there that have baby after baby and the babies are taken away or they don’t want the baby. I just didn’t understand how God allowed those women to have children but the women who wanted children so badly and to become a mother more than anything else had to go through all this pain and heartache to hope to have a child.

What is the most valuable piece of advice you’d like to share with our readers? No matter what, there is an end in sight. AND IT IS WORTH IT. The journey may seem like an eternity but it will happen when it is meant to happen. Do not give up. And try not to stress. That is honestly the worst advice anyone gave me “don’t stress”. Wake up every day telling yourself, “I got this. I will be a mother or a father.”  Positive thinking can go a long way. You just have to have faith and believe. And do not be afraid to share your journey with others, you’ll be surprised to learn about what others go through. I kept a lot bottled up and it wasn’t smart. Talking about it helps. Even if the other person has no idea and just listens. Educate them. Allow them to see what you have to endure on a daily basis. It helps.

Want to contact Jaclyn?  http://mommasaurus.com/  or email her at mommaf@mommasaurus.com.

You can read more infertility stories or connect with others here.  You can connect with me (Brianna) at AdventuresofaTwinMom@gmail.com or on Instagram.

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