Infertility has been a huge part of my life for years and even though I have my miracle babies, it will always be a part of me. I realized after going through infertility that many people aren’t aware of how common this is. Twice a month, I’m going to have a guest blogger who went through infertility or is currently going through it. Meet, our first Guest Blogger: Erin from Our Journey to Three
Tell us a little bit about you and your infertility journey:
Matt & I have been trying to start a family since we got married in October 2012. After being diagnosed with PCOS and only having one fallopian tube, we began fertility treatments in November 2014. We have gone through nine IVF transfers – transferring a total of fifteen embryos. Six of these transfers resulted in pregnancy, but sadly, all six ended in miscarriage. Most of my losses were around 6 to 6 ½ weeks, but the furthest we made it was about 8 weeks. After seeing countless doctors and trying different protocols, we have made the decision to move forward in our journey by using a gestational carrier, with the hopes of building our family.
What led you to the decision of the route you are pursuing or pursued?
After struggling with infertility for five years, my body has just been put through hell. The injections, doctors’ visits, ultrasounds, egg retrievals, and D&Cs have all put a toll on my body. Emotionally, I can’t handle much more either. Also, with repeated pregnancy loss I’ve just come to the realization that my body isn’t meant to carry a child, unfortunately. We have a close friend that will carry for us – hopefully in the fall/winter.
Who offered you support during this process that really stood out to you? What did they do?
There’s no way that I could pick just one person, because the support we have received has been unreal. My husband has been my number 1 support system, along with my mom. Also, a lot of family, friends, and TTC sisters have given us support during this journey. Some of the things that they have shown support to us is sending flowers/cards/small gifts during difficult times; asking us how we are doing; texting us or messaging us; and praying for us – that’s helped up stay afloat quite a bit. Without our support system, I fully believe I would have given up by now.
Did you ever deal with unsupportive people during your journey? How did you handle this?
Yes, 100% – and we still do. Unfortunately, it is even family members. It has been hard to cope with, but I’ve come to the realization that it is what it is. I just know that those aren’t my people. The things I’ve heard from people during this journey just erks me to no end. But I can’t expect them to understand it, they’ve never lived it. The supportive ones FAR outweigh the unsupportive ones so I try to just brush it off.
Are you going to share your infertility journey with your children?
Absolutely. Infertility has been such a HUGE part of my life that has changed me in good ways, that I want them to know how hard we fought for them. And that they were worth every single injection, tear, and pain that we had to go through to get them here.
What would you like couples or women who don’t struggle with infertility to know about infertility?
I would want them to know how extremely fortunate and blessed they are to not have to struggle with infertility. I cannot even imagine having intercourse and getting pregnant – it honestly blows my mind that it works so easy for the majority of people. If you know someone struggling with infertility, I urge you to acknowledge it. I also want them to know that I in no way “blame” them for being fertile – it isn’t their fault! I just hope they know how lucky they are.
What is/was the hardest part of this journey for you?
I would have to say, going through three failed Clomid cycles, three failed IUIs, nine IVF transfers, six miscarriages and still no baby. I hate to say it, but it’s almost as if we did it all for nothing. If someone would have told me years ago, we needed a surrogate, it’s the route we would have taken immediately.
What is the most valuable piece of advice you’d like to share with our readers?
Infertility is no walk in the park. If you’re struggling with infertility, just know it isn’t going to be easy, but I promise you, you have the strength within you to keep pushing forward until you get your end result. Couples that struggle with infertility are such warriors – they’re giving themselves countless injections, are put on emotional rollercoasters, and all keep living their everyday life.
Want to be a guest blogger? Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org or message on Instagram @ivftwinmomadventures