8 Things Not to Say to a Woman Pregnant with Twins

I really enjoyed coming up with this list of things twin moms or twin moms-to-be would rather not hear… Trust me, moms of twins will hear it all, even the not so comforting or kind comments.  Get ready to laugh and/or have your mouth drop open. These things have all been said to me!

1. “Better you than me. Your life is over!” I was left speechless when someone said this to me.  My biggest life goal was to be a mom and to me, a new chapter in my life was beginning and I could not have been more excited!

2. “Are they natural?” I wish I would’ve said “No, they are imaginary!”  The truth is, I am proud to share my infertility journey with others but I would never say my twins are unnatural; they are healthy and perfect.  My husband and I just needed a little extra help to bring them into this world.

3. “Are you having a C-Section?” I know people are just curious because twins aren’t super common but this question is by far the most frequent question we received and one that drove us up the wall.  It’s completely awkward talking to those you aren’t close to about having a vaginal birth. My reserved husband recently made a comment about how often he said the word “vaginal” because people asked this so much!   What people don’t realize, is about half of twin pregnancies end up needing a C-section but there is still a 50% chance of bringing the babies into this world the old fashioned way.

4. “You get two for the price of one!” This could not be further from the truth! We needed two of everything, not to mention our twins came after years of infertility and 3 rounds of In-vitro (IVF), costing us tens of thousands of dollars.  The only thing I can think of that we saved money on is the hospital bill.

5. “A boy and girl, you’re done!” My husband and I are probably done having kids but our family planning isn’t anyone else’s business. There are tons of couples who have twins and want more kids in the future.  No one should assume how many kids a couple wants.

6. “You only have to be pregnant once! You’re so blessed!” Yes, I am extremely blessed to have my miracle babies but in reality, twin pregnancy was not a cake walk.  There were so many things I had to deal with that I most likely wouldn’t have if it was a singleton pregnancy.  I thought for sure pregnancy would be glamorous, that I would have the cutest maternity wardrobe, and it would be an amazing 9 months.  In all honestly, I was miserable for almost the entire pregnancy and I wore my husband’s t-shirts towards the end of my pregnancy because I could not get comfortable. Twin pregnancy was by far the hardest thing I’ve ever put my body through.

7. “That’s too bad they aren’t identical.” This statement really confused me! After all the hardships we went through to get pregnant, we prayed for twins but we never once prayed for identical or fraternal twins, we just wanted healthy and happy babies!  I’m not sure why someone would want identical over fraternal or vice versa.  I think most moms would agree, a healthy and happy child or children is all that matters! 🙂

8. “How much weight have you gained?” Do I need to explain this one?

  If you’re pregnant with twins, my biggest advice is to ignore others ignorant comments and just enjoy the process.  You were chosen to be a twin mom and it’s going to be an amazing and rewarding journey!  If you know someone pregnant with twins, just congratulate them!

This blog was originally posted on sarahwellsbags.com